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10 reasons to be afraid of giant squid

While I'm all about increasing understanding, communication and interchange between humans and squid, there is one thing you should always remember - giant squid are bad asses. Here are the top ten reasons to be afraid of us:

10. Giant squid have 8 arms, 2 tentacles, 3 hearts, and a beak. We have the ability to change our skin color to blend into our surroundings. We can release black ink in order to blind and confuse. Go ahead, make my day.
9. You can't sucker punch a squid. We have a ring of razor sharp teeth around our suckers.
8. Even Chuck Norris is afraid of giant squid.
7. Male giant squid have 3 foot long prehensile spermatophore-depositing tubes. Yeah. That's right.
6. Our arch nemesis is the evil sperm whale. While the largest male sperm whales and giant squid grow to about the same length (18m or 60 feet), sperm whales weigh up to 52 metric tons, while giant squid weigh only one ton in comparison. This is because most of our squiddy length is made up by our tentacles. It is commonly thought that sperm whales are our predators... however, they are often found with circular sucker scars on the skin around their heads. Yeah, we bad.
5. Squid spelled backward is DIUQS - Dead In Under Quarter Second.
4. We giant squid like to lurk beneath the ocean at depths of anything up to 1.5 kilometers (a mile). This is well in excess of the crush depth of modern nuclear submarines. At these depths, water pressure is around 150 atmospheres, or in excess of 2000 psi. Try that.
3. You can never win a game of slaps with a squid. We have 8 arms.
2. Giant squid have the biggest eyes of any known animal. Fact. This is because we are always watching you.
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