foolishly asked questions
Are giant squid real?
Yes. More real than you can possibly imagine. Or at least as real. We are real.
Are giant squid the biggest animals alive?
Alas no, we are not even the biggest of the squid. Our brethren, the colossal squid hold that title. But at up to 13m (44 ft) in length I think you will agree we are pretty large. And we have 3 foot long penises. The males, that is. Really, we do.
Is it true that giant squids are the most graceful, powerful and yet mysterious of god's creatures?
That is correct.
Should I say "squid" or "squids" to signify a multitude of your kind?
You can say either - squid and squids are both valid plural forms. The important thing is that you are saying squid. Or squids. A lot. You should say it a lot.
What do giant squid eat?
We eat fish and smaller squid. Since ascending to the surface, I have developed a fondness for oreos, banana sandwiches and enchiladas.
How do you connect to a computer?
I have a specially-modified tentacle-friendly interface, which I refer to as my squinterface (note this is not to be confused with the face you make when you can't see something clearly).
How did you come up with the idea of a squid joke website?
Oh. Oh. You think there is something funny about squid do you? You find us amusing? Yes? You simply cannot think of cephalopods without laughing. Well, screw you buddy. Screw you.
Who are you really?
I am a giant squid. I swam up from the briny ocean depths. I have an internet connection. Etc.